Matchmaking
Featured Articles:
Online Matchmaking Services: Can They Help Find the Love
of Your Life?
by: David Kamau
Matchmaking can be defined as the process of bringing two people
together for the purpose of marriage. The process involves an
intermediary or facilitator who acts as the matchmaker.
With more and more people content at letting the Internet play
cupid, online matchmaking services keep popping up left, right and
center. But can they really help you find the person of your dreams?
And what's the difference between matchmaking and dating? Well,
dating does not require marriage as the only end goal. Marriage is
the end goal and purpose of matchmaking.
Often a person may be eager to start a family, without having to go
through the hassles of dating and courtship, and the commensurate
expenditure of precious time. For such a person, a matchmaking
service may just be the answer.
Among many other types of matchmaking services available include:
1. Independent matchmakers or "experts"
2. Social networking services
3. Radio station datelines
4. TV matchmaking and dating services
5. Print personal ads and singles publications
6. Speed dating and singles events
7. Online matchmaking services
Of all the above and other methods out there, online matchmaking
services may be the best way to go. Why?
Because of internet access, immediacy and anonymity, twenty four
hours a day, as well as tools for interactive communication such as
Instant Messaging and video chat, not to mention the huge number of
available singles.
Plus, online matchmaking services offer the best value in cost.
Usually the fee is charged monthly and cancellation is easy. Compare
that with per-word newspaper/magazine ads.
How do matchmaking sites work? A true matchmaking site will require
you to input lots of details about yourself as well as the type of
person you are looking for. This in order to find your most suitable
prospect(s), beyond mere physical attributes.
How do you find the right matchmaking service? Being a billion
dollar industry that it is today, you can bet on scam and
fly-by-night companies to be galore. Well, the answer is TTT (Tried,
Tested and True). Always go with a reputable site that also offers a
free trial.
Don't be tempted to go with a completely "free" site. Free usually
means pay in other ways (like the site selling your information or
bombarding you with advertisements).
Can you really meet quality, committed singles online? Many happy
couples who have met online say their paths simply would not have
crossed had they not met online. And, most are interesting, honest
people who are successful in their careers. That they are paying the
subscription fee demonstrates their commitment.
Though no guarantees are offered, online matchmaking services can be
the fastest, most convenient way to get you connected with your soul
mate.
About The Author
David Kamau is webmaster of http://e-datecentral.com, which reviews
dating and matchmaking services. Find reputable online matchmaking
sites at http://e-datecentral.com/personals/matchmaking.htm
e-Matchmaking: Can a Computer Program Find Love For You?
by: Devlyn Steele
I logged on to a dating site the other day and was greeted by a
large, flashing message. It promised that if I took the time to
answer a series of questions that they would find a "perfect match"
for me. Imagine that? All the work and worry of being single - gone!
We truly have evolved! Not only can computer programs manage the
entire traffic system of a city and make chess grandmasters cry, but
now they can lead my perfect match right to my doorstep. I always
wanted a Stepford wife, I hope it comes assembled.
The recent trend in Internet Dating has been the use of a "computer
personality test" of some sort. Websites claim that these tests,
usually developed by a "top psychologist", have the ability to
understand you and your needs through a series of questions.
Confused? Lost in love? Problems communicating? Don't worry, the
Online Dating Hal 5000 can figure you out! In fact, when you're
done, this computer program will know your needs and desires better
than you do.
Remember the Broadway play “Fiddler on The Roof”? You might not, it
was the first Broadway play I went to when I was seven. A song that
always stuck in my head for some reason was “matchmaker, matchmaker,
make me a match…” The song starts as a plea to the matchmaker to
bring true love straight to the altar; someone beautiful, rich,
intelligent, and perfect.
But by the end of the song, the singer realizes that the Matchmaker
might not be up to the task. She decides that “playing with matches,
a girl can get burned”.
So, do these tests really work?
Personality tests have a long history. Really, really smart guys
with names like Freud, Maslov, Fromm, and Jung developed respected
psychological theories, and these theories are used as the basis for
all types of tests. “The Big Five” theory suggests that there are
five dimensions of personality: openness to experience,
conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.
Some popular personality tests use this as a foundation. Others go
the “Big Three” route, which does away with the “openness” and
“agreeableness” dimensions - mostly because it’s easier to remember.
I joke a little about these theories, but the truth is that they’ve
survived the test of time and there is a ton of scientific research
behind them. The real question is if these tests can be effective in
applying a theory to the complexity of a human being. Add to this
the additional layer of meshing your answers with another, equally
complex person. That’s a tall order.
People have impulsive behavior that simply can’t be measured when
they’re sitting, relaxed and introspective, taking one of these
tests. Often our answers reflect our perfect (or hopeful) idea of
ourselves. Even if we are trying our best to be honest, our
impulsive behavior in real-life situations can be far different than
we’d expect.
Another wildcard is attraction. We can meet someone who’s
empirically good-looking, has a similar background, is kind and
successful – and yet we’re not attracted. Often we can’t explain why
we like another person. It may be how they make us laugh, a crooked
smile – even how they smell! Sometimes little things that are
immeasurable on their own can collectively make us attracted.
Human beings and our emotions and desires are far too complex, and a
computer program can’t solve the riddles of our romantic lives. As
Jung put it, “the meeting of two personalities is like the contact
of two chemical substances; if there is a reaction both are
transformed”. It sounds good, but even Jung was hedging his bet when
it comes to love. What will cause two individuals to react to each
other? Even the developers of the study of personality would not
presume that a series of questions could predict romance.
If you rely solely on matchmaking services, you are missing the
entire beauty of online dating. The beauty is opportunity. Online
dating offers you an almost limitless opportunity to meet and date
new people. It gives you the time and space to find what best suits
you. Going to a quality dating site that isn’t trying to sell you
fantasy of finding your match for you will mean you will have a pool
of millions of singles to meet.
Treat matchmaking options as just another fun way to explore. It can
serve as an ice breaker to start a conversation, but don’t expect
them to be the answer to finding your perfect match. Keep all
options open and explore possibilities. As a unique individual, only
can you know what works for you. You need to develop skills to
communicate and meet people. Developing both online and offline
dating skills is the best way to find the right relationship.
Next time you’re brushing your teeth, take a look in the mirror. See
that amazing person? That’s your matchmaker with a mouthful of
toothpaste. Take charge of your life and get into action! Enjoy
dating and enjoy the process of discovery. Your experiences, both
good and not-so-good, are essential to finding the right person for
you.
About The Author
Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") is a Relationship
Coach, Life-Coach, radio host, columnist, and the developer of
ToolsToLife.com. His new program OnlineDatingKit.com teaches
Internet daters the skills they need to find their perfect matches
on their own.
coachsteele@toolstolife.com